And what is your business in the United States, Mr. bin Laden?


A Canadian man whose name got on the US no-fly list has legally changed it to avoid hassles whenever he flies. Because of identity theft, every time he went through customs in the US, he’d be pulled aside and questioned, sometimes for hours. So after enduring this for years as well as complaining to the TSA who said that they couldn’t (or wouldn’t) remove his name, he legally changed it, and now he’s fine. Good thing the terrorists don’t know about this idea.

This no-fly rule that’s based solely on someone’s name is just ludicrous in the first place. Names are not globally unique and can be easily faked. There have been stories of seven-year-old children being stopped and questioned because their names show up on a no-fly list. Senator Edward Kennedy’s name made it onto a watch list at one point, and a couple of times he was told he couldn’t board the plane. In all cases he eventually did get on the plane thanks to the fact that the supervisor recognized him. He managed to get his name removed after a couple of weeks, but the average person can’t just call up the DHS chief and say “Hi Tom, Ted here. Get my name off of your f**king list. Thanks.”

Terrorists may be misguided, brainwashed, or just plain evil, but you can’t say that they’re all stupid. What terrorist is going to be flying under his real name? The well-funded terrorists can probably get fake passports made in hours with any name they want and if they’re smart, they never fly under the same name twice.

Yet another example of how the US government is turning the “war on terror” into a complete joke. I’m not talking about the actual fighting in Afghanistan, more the silly restrictions that keep popping up everywhere. You can’t bring more than 100 mL of shampoo in your carry-on, but a bottle of water or contact lens solution (even more than 100 mL!) is OK. Do they check the contents of the bottle of water or contact lens solution? If you’re going to bring liquid explosives onboard, just put it into a contact lens solution bottle and you’re fine. You can’t bring a nail file because it could be used as a weapon, but a sharpened pencil is fine. Now they can confiscate any electronic device like a laptop and even an iPod without reasonable suspicion of anything, and without even explaining why they’re doing it.

How does any of this make people safer when flying? These are silly rules that do nothing but inconvenience innocent civilians. The actual terrorists can easily get around them and thus they provide no security.

As I said once before, “The terrorists may not have succeeded in significantly affecting the Western economies or changing government policies on anything (which, presumably, is at least one of their goals), but I’m sure they’re all having a good laugh at the stupid policies that have resulted from their activities.” I read a comment on Bruce Schneier’s blog that sums it up perfectly:

The purpose of terrorism is to create terror.

Mission accomplished.

You suck, Halladay


Well, OK, he doesn’t really suck. He had an off night is all. But if he’d had an on night, the Jays would have tied the team record for the longest winning streak in team history at 11 games! Who’d have guessed that Doc would be the pitcher to end the streak? And even with Halladay sucking not pitching his best, they came this close to doing it anyway.

I only saw the last three or four innings of the game, but the Jays were down 5-0 and simply weren’t in the game at all. Then in the 8th inning, Mark Buehrle walked Bautista and Ozzie Guillen inexplicably took Buehrle out. Buehrle looked kind of amused by this, but then Octavio Dotel gave up a 2-run homer to Alex Rios, which I’m sure took some of Buehrle’s fun away. Dotel got out of that inning, and then Chicago scored what turned out to be a critical run in the bottom of the 8th. Toronto came up in the top of the 9th, down 6-2, and facing one of the tougher closers in the AL in Bobby Jenks. Zaun struck out, then Inglett singled, Rolen walked, and Overbay singled Inglett in. Scutaro (what an awesome pick-up he was) then doubled in Rolen, and Bautista grounded out scoring Overbay. Now it’s 6-5 with 2 out and the tying run at 3rd base, and your best hitters coming up in Rios and Wells. Rios struck out (on a third strike that I’m not convinced was a strike) to end the game, but if you can ever be happy about a loss, especially one that ends a 10-game winning streak, this is one of those times. The Jays went from not being in the game at all to needing a base hit to tie it in less than two innings. That says something about this team.

There’s been a lot of talk about this streak and whether is means anything at all. I’m not sure that it does, since the Jays are basically out of the playoff race anyway. They’re 7½ games back of Boston for the wild card with less than three weeks left in the season, so unless they go on another phenomenal streak and Boston loses a bunch and Minnesota loses a bunch too, it ain’t happening. It looks like the end of any one of the last few Leafs’ seasons — wait until there’s no chance of making the playoffs and then start playing really well. Can the Jays simply not perform under pressure, or was it just bad timing that they all got healthy and hot at the wrong time?

Worst of all, does the streak mean that J.P. Ricciardi will still have his GM job next season? After all, if you put together a team that is good enough to win 10 straight games, all against very good teams, you shouldn’t be getting fired, should you? Or is it more fair to say that if you put together a team that good and yet they aren’t contending for a playoff spot, that you should be fired?

Is this streak an anomaly, or are the Jays really this good? Hard to say. We found out this year thanks to Tampa that a team not expected to do anything can be a serious contender, so there’s always hope.

Looking for a fix


I’ve got the shakes. I’m shivering and sweating at the same time. I feel hungry but the thought of eating turns my stomach. I’m terribly thirsty and I feel like there isn’t enough water in the world. That’s right — I’m going through podcast withdrawal. The second hard drive on my home computer, the one labeled “Multimedia” that has hundreds of documents and home videos, thousands of digital pictures, and my entire iTunes library on it, simply stopped working the other day. I assumed it was a hard disk failure and attempted to run Spinrite on it, only to find that Spinrite refused to do anything with it because the BIOS thought it was a different size than it actually was. I went into the BIOS setup and sure enough, the BIOS thought that my 250 GB disk was 137 GB. Windows XP, however, seemed to know the right size.

So since the drive died, I have not been able to sync my iPod or download any new podcasts. I might have to (gasp) listen to music on my way to work tomorrow! Oh no, wait — a while ago, I downloaded seven or eight older episodes of Security Now, so I will be able to listen to descriptions of how VPNs work or WEP vs. WPA encryption, or stuff like that. Whew.

Anyway, back to the hard drive. The machine is an old IBM NetVista that we bought for the bargain basement price of $10. Gail’s company was getting rid of a whole bunch of these machines, so we picked one up. Shortly thereafter, our last computer died and we replaced it with this one, and it’s been great ever since. I guess I never checked the BIOS when I installed the new disk, or maybe because Windows could see all 250 GB of it, I didn’t worry about the fact that the BIOS couldn’t. Once I downloaded some more pictures from the camera, the disk went over the 137 GB mark, and then everything went all to hell.

I upgraded the BIOS to the most recent one available on the IBM support web site, which is dated 2003. No change. A former co-worker of Gail’s, who bought one of the NetVista machines at the same time, is currently using his as a NAS, with a terabyte of storage, so he must have figured this out at some point. Gail said he bought a $30 PCI SATA card and that’s it, but my drive is an IDE. (He’s away on business or vacation or something right now so I can’t ask him.) I went to a computer parts place in Burlington called Tiger Direct (wow, is that place ever cool) and asked the guy there, and he said that if the BIOS won’t recognize drives that big, then buying a new IDE controller card will not help, so perhaps Bill replaced the motherboard on his machine before adding the SATA card. He did say that if I bought an external drive enclosure and then attached the drive via USB, that should work regardless of the BIOS, so I did that. The machine recognized that there was a drive there, but described it as “offline”, and simply refused to bring it online.

I’m sure that if I kept the disk in the enclosure and reformatted it, life would be rosy, but then I lose the data on the disk. The majority of it is backed up online thanks to Jungle Disk, but not all of it. For example, my iTunes library is not backed up. I decided not to back that up because it’s re-creatable; my iTunes purchases are backed up to a CD, I can re-download any puretracks.ca purchases, and of course I can re-rip all of my CDs. That only took six weeks the first time around.

Feel free to post any suggestions here in the comments!

The Trade III?


Weird — I just finished writing about two different blockbuster trades that the Rock made with the San Jose Stealth, and they go and make another one. This time, they threw the Rochester Knighthawks into the mix.

The Rock traded Aaron Wilson and a draft pick for next year to Rochester in return for Stephen Hoar. Rochester sent their draft pick for this year to San Jose, who sent Luke Wiles to Toronto. So Toronto gives up Aaron Wilson and a draft pick for Luke Wiles and Stephen Hoar, Rochester gives up a draft pick and Stephen Hoar for Aaron Wilson, and San Jose gives up Luke Wiles for a draft pick. Got all that?

As much as I like Aaron Wilson, I think this looks like a good deal for the Rock. I don’t know much about Luke Wiles (since the Stealth have never played in Toronto), but from the numbers, he looks like a similar player to Wilson anyway. Hoar, who has one of the best names in the NLL (he’s heard “Hey Steve, your mama’s a Hoar!” all his life, and now replies with “Not until she married my dad!”), is a solid defender and transition guy. It kind of sucks to have traded an offensive star like Wilson to a division rival, but it may not matter. The Knighthawks lost John Grant, Jr. for the season today, so I guess the K-Hawks are hoping that Wilson will make up for that loss to some extent. You simply can’t replace a talent like Grant, but if you have to try, Wilson will do as good a job as just about anyone.

Paul Tutka wrote a piece in NLLInsider.com today about the moves the Rock have made this off-season, and when you put them all together, it does look pretty good:

In: Luke Wiles, Stephen Hoar, Craig Conn, Jason Crosbie, Chad Thompson (injured last year), Lewis Ratcliff

Out: Josh Sanderson, Aaron Wilson, Jim Veltman, Mike Poulin, Dan Ladouceur

The goaltending situation is a little dicey. Watson is coming off a Goaltender of the Year award, so no real worries there but if he gets hurt, the backup will be Mike Attwood (not sure if he’s ever seen action in an NLL game) or one of the two goalies they drafted the other day, neither of which has ever played in the NLL either. Poulin didn’t see a lot of floor time last year, but he was the goaltender of the year in the OLA this past season, in a league featuring Cosmo, O’Toole, and Brandon Miller. Might have been good to protect Poulin instead of Watson, but then make Watson a franchise player so Boston would be unlikely to draft him.

The Trade II


In July of 2004, the Rock made a blockbuster deal with the San Jose Stealth which came to be known to Rock fans as The Trade. Two and a half years later, the Rock made another trade that is still being talked about, but not in the same way. These were the two biggest trades in Rock history, and while the first directly contributed to the Rock’s 2005 NLL championship, the second was not-quite-but-pretty-close directly responsible for the two worst seasons in Rock history.

The Rock won the NLL championship in 2005, but struggled in 2006, beginning the season 0-4 and ending up with a worst-ever 8-8 record. The Rock management adopted a “What have you done for us lately” attitude with head coach and GM Terry Sanderson, and fired him within weeks of the end of the season. Former player Glenn Clark was hired as head coach, and Mike Kloepfer got the job as “Director of Player Personnel” (don’t know why that’s different from “General Manager” as it’s called for every other team, and for the Rock prior to this). A couple of weeks before the start of the 2007 season, Kloepfer made his mark on the team by making The Trade II. Kloepfer traded Colin Doyle and Darren Halls to the San Jose Stealth for Ryan Benesch, Kevin Fines, Chad Thompson, and two draft picks.

Doyle had played his entire career with the Rock organization; one year in Hamilton when they were the Ontario Raiders, and then eight years with the Rock. He won five championships with the Rock, and finished either first or second on the Rock in scoring every year from 1999 to 2005. In 2005, he actually led the league in scoring — the first player not named Gait or Tavares to do so since 1990 — and was named league MVP. Doyle was also named MVP of the Championship game three times, something nobody else has ever done more than once. Needless to say, Doyle was the offensive heart and soul of the Rock. He was also a fan favourite who gave his all whenever he hit the floor, and from all accounts, he was also a popular guy in the locker room. The trade shocked the lacrosse community, and even Doyle himself did not see it coming. Many Rock fans were absolutely incensed, and some even cancelled season tickets because of it. Management never really gave a good reason for the trade, other than the typical “going in a different direction” crap. When you’ve won five championships in seven years and then have one bad season, you don’t need to go in a different direction; you want to get back to the direction you were going in the previous year, and trading your best player away is not the way to do that.

Of course, Doyle wasn’t the only player involved in the trade. Darren Halls was a rookie who was traded to the Rock from Arizona only the previous month. Ryan Benesch was the first overall pick in that year’s draft, and was touted as a very exciting young player. I had never heard of Fines or Thompson, but despite the others involved in the trade, it essentially came down to Doyle for Benesch — the current superstar for the up-and-coming rookie. Perhaps the Rock was hoping that Doyle was on the downside of his career and Benesch would turn into another, well, Colin Doyle. But in 2006, Doyle was only a year removed from his MVP season, he made the All-Star and All-Pro teams, and finished third in league scoring. In short, he was not showing any signs of being on the downside of his career.

Doyle only scored four points in his first game in San Jose, but got nine assists in his second game and seven in his third (plus a goal). He ended the 2007 season with 81 points, fifteen less than his total with the Rock the previous year. Rather than attempt to be the goal leader, he seemed to take a page from Josh Sanderson’s book, and let Jeff Zywicki, Gary Rosyski, and Luke Wiles score all the goals. Doyle led the team in assists, and the Stealth made the post season for the first time in three years. In only the second playoff game in Stealth history, Doyle, who thrives in the post-season (did I mention his three Championship game MVP awards?), scored a goal and added ten assists to help the Stealth beat the defending champion Colorado Mammoth 15-14 in OT. The next week, however, the Stealth were bumped from the playoffs by the Arizona Sting. Last year, Doyle scored 88 points, and the Stealth won the west division, though they lost in the opening round of the playoffs to the LumberJax.

As for the Rock, Ryan Benesch lived up to most expectations, finishing with 58 points and was named NLL Rookie of the Year. In total, Benesch, Fines, and Thompson finished with a total of 104 points, even more than Doyle could have been expected to get. But Doyle, Josh Sanderson, and Blaine Manning made up a very potent offensive threesome, and losing part of that group really hurt the team. Call it team chemistry or whatever. Sanderson’s points total dropped by thirteen, and Manning, whose point total had already dropped by twenty five the previous year, saw his total drop by another three. The Rock finished the season 6-10, their worst record ever. They managed to back into the playoffs thanks to tiebreakers, but were soundly defeated in the first round by the eventual-champion Rochester Knighthawks. Last year, the Rock finished 7-9 and out of the playoffs for the first time ever.

It’s hard to say that the Rock’s decline from dynasty to also-ran was caused by the Doyle trade, since they were no better than mediocre the year before the trade. But things got quite a bit worse after the trade. Fines was traded away the next year, and then Sanderson near the end of last season. Benesch was benched for the last two games of the 2008 season, and there were rumours that he’d played his last game as a Rock. Nothing ever came of it, and Mike Kloepfer has since gone on the record saying that Benesch was never on the trading block and is a big part of the Rock’s future. However, no explanation was ever given for the benching.

While it could be argued (and I did) that the Stealth basically lost the Sanderson/Cosmo deal, there’s no argument that they ended up on the winning end of the Doyle/Benesch trade.

Quite honestly, I was not a very big fan of Colin Doyle during the first few years that I watched the Rock (i.e. starting in the the 2001 season). There was no question that he was talented, but he seemed like too much of a hothead to me. It always seemed like he wanted to get out there and fight someone (and my opinions on fighting in sports are very well documented), and the only reason that he didn’t was because his coach refused to let him, deciding (correctly) that he was too valuable on the floor to be spending time in the penalty box.

Over the years, however, he matured and became a superstar. The hothead thing vanished, and he now seems perfectly happy to let others do the fighting while he just goes out and scores goals. Something else that impressed me about Doyle was unrelated to lacrosse — during the national anthems, he stands perfectly still and even sings along to O Canada. I don’t understand why players have to keep shifting around during the anthems. Do they think it helps them stay loose? Then why do they sit down on the bench when they’re not playing? Why not stand behind the bench, shifting from foot to foot? And players who take off and continue their warm-up before the anthems are over really annoy me. Anyway, kudos to Doyle for showing respect.

The Doyle trade is one of those “I remember when I heard about…” moments for me. I am an occasional Wikipedia editor (OK, more than occasional, I have made over 7,000 edits to Wikipedia pages), and the day after the trade, I went to Wikipedia to look at my watchlist (a list of changes to pages I’m interested in), and one of the changes was to the Colin Doyle page, which I created. The only thing that was changed on the page was the first line:

Colin “Popeye” Doyle (b. September 8, 1977 in Kitchener, Ontario) is a lacrosse player for the San Jose Stealth of the National Lacrosse League.

“San Jose Stealth?” I thought, “Stupid vandals.” Vandalism is something that happens all too often on Wikipedia, so I was all ready to revert the change, but then I noticed a new paragraph that described a trade in more detail (i.e. who was involved). The next thought I had was not “vandalism”, but more something along the lines of “no fucking way!” and went screaming over to NLL.com to see if it was really true. It was.

In the two seasons since he was traded, while watching the Rock struggle to score goals, I came to realize just how valuable Colin Doyle was to the team. This coming season, the Stealth are playing in Toronto for the first time since the trade, so I’m looking forward to seeing Doyle play again, even if it is against the Rock rather than for them.

Bill and Jerry buy shoes


I don’t post links or videos that often, but I had to throw this one up. This is the first in a series of Microsoft commercials featuring Jerry Seinfeld, and while not as good as the “I’m a Mac and I’m a PC” ones from Apple, it’s pretty funny. Bill Gates actually does a pretty decent job, and his Platinum Shoe Circus Clown Club card is hilarious.

The Trade I


As I wrote about the other day, Anthony Cosmo was traded from San Jose to Chicago. Cosmo is a former Toronto Rock goaltender, and was traded to San Jose in the summer of 2004, essentially for Josh Sanderson (at least, they were the two biggest names in the trade). This was the biggest trade in Rock history, up until the Doyle trade of two years later, and was known to Rock fans simply as The Trade (just as Jays fans used to think of the Alomar and Carter for Fernandez and McGriff deal).

Though excited about having Josh Sanderson on the Rock, I remember thinking at the time that trading Cosmo would come back to bite the Rock later on. Despite the fact that Cosmo has blossomed into one of the best goalies in the league, I was wrong on this one. This turned out to be a fabulous trade for the Rock.

For four seasons, Cosmo was the Rock’s backup goaltender, behind the legendary Bob “Whipper” Watson. During most of that time, Whipper was the definite #1 goalie and Cosmo was the backup. Beginning in 2003, Cosmo began playing more often, and when Whipper got injured, Cosmo took over. He played in nine of sixteen games in 2004, as he and Whipper more or less shared the goalie job. Whipper was in his mid 30’s at the time while Cosmo was more than seven years younger. I distinctly remember one game where Whipper started but didn’t play very well and was pulled in the first quarter. Cosmo finished the game, and played amazing. I remember wondering if we had just seen the unofficial transition from the Watson era of Rock history to the Cosmo era. Beginning that night, I assumed that Cosmo would be the starting Rock goaltender the next season, with Watson serving as the backup, if he didn’t retire. Never happened. The Cosmo era, if it ever truly began, ended a couple of months after the 2004 season ended.

In a blockbuster deal, Toronto traded fan favourite Steve Toll, defenseman Darryl Gibson (later to become an all-star), two draft picks and a player to be named later to the San Jose Stealth for the single-season assist record holder and master playmaker Josh Sanderson, his cousin Phil Sanderson (another soon-to-be all star defenseman), and Rusty Kruger (who happened to be a good friend of Josh). It wasn’t officially part of the trade announcement, but it was widely known that the Rock “player to be named later” was Anthony Cosmo. It was weird that someone as good as Cosmo was a “player to be named later” in a trade, but that wasn’t the weirdest thing about The Trade.

The league was about to hold an expansion draft for the new Minnesota Swarm. Each team was allowed to protect a certain number of players and the Swarm would be allowed to pick one unprotected player from each team. As part of the deal with the Stealth, the Rock were obligated to protect Cosmo. Not only was this weird because it meant that they had to leave someone else unprotected, but the Stealth already had two very good goalies (Brandon Miller and Rob Blasdell), both of whom were protected. So the Stealth, essentially, forced the Rock to protect one of their goalies, allowing them to end up with three. This made little sense, as Cosmo started the majority of games for the Stealth the next season, with Miller and Blasdell seeing little floor time. Blasdell was left unprotected in the next season’s expansion draft, and was selected by Edmonton (who immediately traded him to Arizona).

Many lacrosse fans raised a Spockian eyebrow at The Trade announcement since Josh’s father Terry Sanderson was the GM and head coach of the Rock at the time. Some wondered if he gave up too much to acquire his son, his nephew, and his son’s best friend. But nepotism aside, The Trade turned the Rock into an offensive powerhouse. Josh Sanderson combined with Colin Doyle and Blaine Manning to make the Rock one of the most potent offensive lineups in NLL history. In 2005, Doyle led the league in scoring, Manning was tied for second, and Sanderson was tied for fourth. Josh set a new single-season record for assists. Doyle, Manning and Josh were named to the All-Star and All-Pro teams, and Doyle was named league MVP as the Rock won their fifth championship in seven years. In 2006, all three were again All-Stars, as was Phil Sanderson, Josh led the league in both assists and points, and Doyle and Josh made the All-Pro team again.

After 2006, the Rock went downhill quickly. Terry Sanderson was fired, and Colin Doyle was inexplicably traded to the Stealth. Without Terry to fight for him, Josh became unpopular with management, and he was traded to the Calgary Roughnecks during the 2008 season. The Rock finished below .500 in both 2007 and 2008 (their worst records ever), and they missed the playoffs in 2008 for the first time in team history.

But what about Cosmo? He became the starter in San Jose that Rock fans knew he would. He made the All-Star team in 2005 and 2006, was named Goaltender of the Year in 2007, and is now widely regarded as one of the best in the league. And yet the Rock traded him away — so why was this still a great trade? Because of Bob Watson. In the four seasons since The Trade, Watson has simply been outstanding. He made the All-Pro team in 2005 and 2008, and was named Goaltender of the Year in 2008 at the age of 38 — on a team that went 7-9. He’s had a couple of different backups (Phil Wetherup and Mike Poulin), neither of whom has played often because Watson is a workhorse. Trading Cosmo didn’t hurt the Rock because even if they hadn’t, he wouldn’t have gotten much playing time. The fact that the Rock pretty much sucked last year and the year before is irrelevant — their suckage was not Watson’s fault, and having Cosmo in goal wouldn’t have changed things.

The Rock had an excess of talent and traded some of it away for a championship. That’s the quintessential example of a great trade.

My blogging legacy


Some actual searches that reached my blog in the last month:

  • Google Search: circumcise waterpark
  • Google Search: is clay buchholz uncircumcised
  • Yahoo Search: “other words for penis”
  • Google Search: is charlie sheen circumcised?
  • Google Search: is wayne gretzky circumcised

Geez… I wrote one article on circumcision, and searches are still hitting it over two years later. It is also the current cutthechatter.com record-holder for comments, with twelve. I guess it was on the cutting edge (har).

As a comparison, an article on the circus that I wrote the same month has zero comments, and I’ve never seen a single search hit that one. I guess penises are big on the internet! Wait, that’s not what I meant…

The Teat Crutch


Here is a link to an anagram server, where you enter some phrase and it will give you English anagrams for that phrase. I tried my name and got some good ones:

  • Wee programer (OK, programmer is spelled wrong)
  • Pregame rower
  • Eager rep worm
  • Grow ’em, reaper
  • Re: Power gamer
  • Ram ewe groper

Then I tried “Cut The Chatter” and got these:

  • Chat the cutter (natch)
  • Cut the ratchet
  • Hatchet cutter
  • The teat crutch
  • That cute retch

My favourite anagram of all time (I remember seeing Johnny Carson interviewing Dick Cavett a zillion years ago; they were talking about anagrams and mentioned this one): Spiro Agnew → Grow a penis

Home Reno


We did some a little bit of home renovation this past weekend. Actually, it was more destruction than renovation.

One of the “features” of our house when we bought it in July, 1997 was the dry sauna in the basement. It was a nice little cedar room with a sauna heater in it. A few days after we moved in, we turned it on, found that it worked, and turned it off again a few minutes later. That was the last time it was used. We’ve used it primarily as storage ever since, but we’re considering getting the basement finished sometime over the next year or two, and we knew that this room was going to be the first thing to go, so we did it ourselves.

On Sunday morning, we removed the door and the drywall from the outside of the right-hand wall and that was about it. Monday morning I took this “before” picture:
By about 2:00 on Monday afternoon, the room was gone, and we had piles of cedar and 2×4 studs piled in our garage. We moved a couple of bookshelves over as well as a loveseat, and now we have a nice little sitting area:

The only drawback is that you can now see the insulation in the walls, where it was hidden before. However, the rest of the basement isn’t finished either, so there’s insulation all over the place. Other than a couple of tiny cuts on my hand and a few slivers here and there, there were no injuries, and nothing got damaged that wasn’t supposed to. The only downside to the day was that it was beautiful outside, possibly the last beautiful weekend of the summer, while we were in the basement all day.