Dilbert is teh funny


I got a real kick out of today’s Dilbert . Kind of reminds me of the one a bunch of years ago where the boss is having network trouble (and you can clearly see the network cable unplugged from the wall). Dilbert tells him that it’s a token ring network, and the token must have fallen out. The last panel shows Wally telling Dilbert “You are the wind beneath my wings”, while the pointy-haired boss is on his knees looking under his desk for the token. Classic.

Busted!


OK, fun’s over, everyone outta the pool. Gail has discovered my blog. She mentioned it the other night at dinner, though we talked about it for approximately 15 seconds before being interrupted, probably by some piece of wisdom from Nicholas (“Look, I put my fork in my chocolate milk! That’s hil-air-ious”). I’ve already gone through and deleted all the articles about my sexual exploits with the Toronto Rock cheerleaders, so I think I’m safe. :-)

As I mentioned in a previous article, my blog was never a secret from my beloved wife; I just never made a point of mentioning it, because I figured she’d ask why (“I dunno”), and what kind of stuff do I write about (“just stuff”), and my answers would probably be rather disappointing – to me, if not to her.

When I was your age, television was called "books"


One of the DVDs I got for Christmas is one I am surprised it took me this long to get – one of my all-time favourite movies, The Princess Bride. There are a staggering number of great quotes in that movie:

Inigo: Let me explain – no, there is too much. Let me sum up.

Vizzini: He didn’t fall? Inconcievable!
Inigo: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Miracle Max: True love is the greatest thing in the world! Except for a nice MLT – mutton, lettuce and tomato, where the mutton is nice and lean, and the tomatoes are ripe. They’re so perky. I love that.

Humperdinck: Tyrone, you know how much I love to watch you work, but I’ve got my country’s 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder, and Guilder to blame for it. I’m swamped!
Rugen: Get some rest. If you haven’t got your health, you haven’t got anything.

Inigo: I do not suppose you could speed things up?
Westley: If you’re in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.
Inigo: I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
Westley: That does put a damper on our relationship.

Westley: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

Inigo: That’s a miracle pill?
Valerie: The chocolate makes it go down easier. But you have to wait fifteen minutes for full potency. And he shouldn’t go in swimming after for at least, what?
Miracle Max: An hour. A good hour.

…and of course, the classic:

Inigo: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Thanks to IMDB for some of the quotes that I couldn’t quite remember exactly.

Sportsmanship at the Olympics


I love the Olympics, particularly the winter ones. A lot of people say this, and it’s absolutely true — nobody gives a damn about luge, bobsled, or cross-country skiing at any other time, but during the Olympics, we’re all glued to it. Same in the summer – am I ever likely to sit and watch a swimming or gymnastics competition outside of the Olympics? Not a chance, and yet during the Olympics, I have no problem watching that stuff — actually, I really enjoy watching Olympic gymnastics. The combination of grace and strength is amazing.

A couple of things about the Games so far – an American hockey player has been complaining about the Canadian women’s hockey team “running up” the score in their first two games, saying that it was disrespectful to the other teams. Hogwash. The Italian coach said before the game that he was hoping to keep the goal differential to “under 20” (and they did – the final score was 16-0). They knew they were playing a powerhouse team, and fully expected to be blown away. At the same time, Canada is playing to win the Gold, and one of the factors if there are ties in the standings is goal differential, so it’s in their best interest to score as many goals as they can. Personally, I think that not playing to the best of your ability and just passing the puck around, trying not to score would be more disrespectful, essentially telling the other team “not only are you not going to win, but we’re not even going to bother trying”.

Major kudos to the Norwegian cross-country skiing coach who gave a Canadian skier a new pole during the race when the Canadian’s pole broke. The Canadians ended up winning a Silver medal, while the Norwegians finished fourth. That’s the embodiment of the “Olympic spirit” and good sportsmanship right there. Funny part: the coach said that it was no big deal, but that he wouldn’t have done it for the Swedes.

Everyone’s a critic


I went to my buddy Jeff’s place last night to hang out – Gail and the kids are up north visiting Gail’s dad, so I’m solo this weekend. It was Jeff’s birthday yesterday, so a bunch of us went out for dinner, then went back to Jeff’s place to relax in the hot tub, then catch the Rock game on TV.

While watching the game, I’m not exactly sure how it came up, but someone, either Steve or Lynda, made the point that one shouldn’t criticize something if he or she can’t come up with something better. Kerri mentioned a similar policy at work – if you’re going to complain about something, you must have a better solution. I wholeheartedly disagree with this. Just because you personally cannot do a better job, that does not mean that you cannot criticize something or someone.

If this were true, then there only four people alive who would be “allowed” to criticize George W. Bush in his role as President – former Presidents Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, George H.W. Bush, and Bill Clinton. And yet millions of people all over the world criticize him every day.

This comes up in the lacrosse message board that I belong to all the time – people criticize the refs, and then someone who maybe refs minor league lacrosse, or knows an NLL ref or something asks “Do you know how hard reffing is? Could you do better?” No, I couldn’t, and that’s totally irrelevant.

A lot of art critics can’t paint to save their lives. Many music critics can’t sing. People who suck at sports criticize athletes with far more talent than they have all the time. I don’t need to be able to replace someone in order to criticize them.

OT Thriller!


Wotta game! The Rock only get 6 shots in the entire first quarter and by partway through the second, are down 5-1. Then they claw their way back into it, finally tying the game at 10 with six minutes left in the 4th, and winning it 24 seconds into overtime. Matt Shearer scored the last three goals of the game, Aaron Wilson got 4 goals (including Toronto’s first three), and Jimmy Veltman and Dan Ladouceur both played excellent games.

The offense just wasn’t there at all in the first quarter, and really didn’t get it together all game. Both goalies were amazing, and Toronto’s defense played really well.

Some of the people I go to lacrosse games with hate overtime – one even said she wouldn’t care if Rochester scored, just as long as the game ended. I don’t get that. I love overtime – even the first Rock game of this year, which the Rock lost in overtime. Everyone plays their hardest, knowing the next goal wins – I find it very exciting. When they scored the winner tonight, the whole stadium stood up at once, as if they’d just won the championship.

A 3-4 record isn’t anything to write home about, but they play the expansion (and winless) Edmonton Rush tomorrow night, so here’s hoping they hit .500 and never look back.

Gambling again


So now there’s a gambling scandal in the NHL. Not as bad as the Pete Rose thing, but still bad. This time, we have a former player involved in betting and possible money laundering and other stuff. The NHL has already stated that there is no evidence indicating that anyone involved was betting on hockey, which is the big difference between this and the Pete Rose case. Ever since Rose was banned from baseball (and therefore the Hall of Fame), I’ve been of the opinion that he should be reinstated, since there is no evidence that he threw games or ever bet against the team he was managing.

If you want to simply follow the letter of the law, then the case is closed. Baseball players, coaches, managers, etc. are prohibited by Major League Baseball from betting on baseball games. Rose has admitted that he did bet on baseball while manager of the Cincinatti Reds, so he’s done. But perhaps we shouldn’t look at the letter of the law – perhaps the question should be: is this a just rule? I’ve always thought that unless you are betting against your own team and/or throwing games, then betting on baseball should not be prohibited. However, after listening to some comments on the radio today, I think I’ve changed my mind. The rule is just, and Pete Rose should be banned from baseball. Here’s why.

In 2004, Rose admitted (after 15 years of denial) that he did indeed bet on baseball games involving the Reds, which he was managing at the time. Perhaps he never bet against the Reds, but he also did not bet for the Reds in each and every game. It’s possible that in the late stages of a season, when the playoff hopes were gone, he’d bet on the Reds to win a game, and not bet on them to win the next game. This could make him do whatever he could to win the first game, possibly at the expense of the second. Maybe he rearranges when pitchers are starting, or brings in more relief pitchers or pinch hitters than he normally would, to ensure that game 1 is a win. If there were no bets, he might do things differently to save players for the next game, but if he didn’t bet on the next game, his judgement, and therefore his decisions, will not be the same. This is not exactly throwing game 2, but it’s close, and damn near impossible to prove. This is what Rose critics mean when they say he compromised the integrity of the game.

Another thing I’d never considered is that when a rich person gets involved in gambling, it’s not unlikely that he may meet some “connected” people, i.e. the mob. If he needs a loan, or is otherwise indebted to the mob for whatever reason, they may force him to throw games as part of repaying said debts. This could happen even if you’re not betting on your own sport – if a baseball player (who’s not allowed to bet on baseball) gets involved with the mob while betting on football, the same thing could happen.

MLB commissioner Bud Selig has stated on numerous occasions that Rose will not be reinstated as long as he’s commissioner, so Pete may have to wait until a new commissioner is elected to try for reinstatement again. Good luck Pete, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.

Haiku


A few of us at work use MS Messenger, and one of the things that messenger allows you to do is add a “tagline”, a single short line of text that is displayed after your user name. Usually these are blank, though a few of us put little amusing things in there now and again. In the last week or two, one of my colleagues started putting in haikus, so a few others have been doing it too. It’s kinda fun. In our case, they’re mostly sports-related. Here’s mine for today:

Great news for the Leafs
Aki Berg is returning
The Cup is ours now

I kind of liked the first one I did too:

Haiku can be tough
You have to count syllables
This one is wrong

All Steves, all the time


Ever notice how a lot of great guitar players are named Steve? Steve Howe (Yes), Steve Vai, Steve Harris (Iron Maiden), Steve Lukather (Toto), Steve Morse (now with Deep Purple), Steve Hackett (Genesis), Steve Stevens (Billy Idol), and the late Steve Clark (Def Leppard) and Stevie Ray Vaughan. You got a few Jimmys too (Hendrix, Page, Vaughan), a couple of Erics (Clapton, Johnson), three Adrians (Vandenburg from Whitesnake, Belew from King Crimson, and Smith from Iron Maiden), and even a guy named Vivian (Campbell, from both Def Leppard and Whitesnake) but still it seems like an inordinate number of Steves.

Look around for great guitar players named Graeme, and you’ll be looking for a while. In fact, look around for anyone remotely famous named Graeme (with that spelling), and you’ll find exactly two – a composer named Graeme Revell, who’s done lots of movie soundtracks, and Graeme MacKay, who does political cartoons for the Hamilton Spectator. Maybe someday I’ll join that list, though as what, I don’t know.

Pandora update


Pandora 2.1 has been released, and it has some fancy new stuff. You can add songs to your “favourites” list, which is available online (mine is here). Note that I just started updating this today, so there are very few songs there right now. There are other fancy things like an RSS feed to the most popular songs / artists.

Hmmm… the Pandora computer must be on an 80’s thing today. I’ve already heard songs from Whitesnake, Loverboy, and Honeymoon Suite.