Top Ten Funny Song Lyrics


Not necessarily brilliant or insightful, just lyrics that always make me laugh. I left out comedy musicians like Weird Al or Jonathan Coulton (though I always laugh at “one bad-ass fucking fractal“). These are in no particular order.

 

  1. Paul McCartney, “Sally”
    When you’re away there are grey skies
    And when I’m away there are even more grey skies than the grey skies I told you about before
  2. Gin Blossoms, “Cheatin'”
    You can’t call it cheatin’, cause she reminds me of you
  3. ZZ Top, “TV Dinners”
    I like the enchiladas and the teriyaki too
    I even like the chicken if the sauce is not too blue
  4. A few self-referential songs, grouped together because they’re similar:
    1. Def Leppard, “Me and My Wine”
      You know I’d like to get to know you
      but I ain’t got the time, and I’m
      I’m finding it harder and harder
      to make this damn thing rhyme
    2. Alice Cooper, “School’s Out”
      Well we got no class
      and we got no principles
      [principals?]
      and we got no innocence
      we can’t even think of a word that rhymes
    3. Primus, “Mr. Know-it-all”
      They call me Mr. Know-it-all
      I am so eloquent
      Perfection is my middle name
      and whatever rhymes with eloquent
  5. Led Zeppelin, “Travelling Riverside Blues”
    Squeeze my lemon til the juice runs down my leg
    Squeeze it so hard I’m gonna fall right outta bed…
    I wonder if you know what I’m talkin’ ’bout

    The same lyrics are in “The Lemon Song” as well, but the funny part is Robert Plant wondering if we know what he’s talkin’ ’bout. Right Robert, that’s a tough one. I’m not sure I can see through the layers of complicated symbolism there.
  6. Tom Petty, “A Mind With A Heart Of Its Own”
    I’ve been over to your house
    And you’ve been sometimes to my house
    I’ve slept in your treehouse
    My middle name is Earl
    (Important note: Tom Petty’s middle name is indeed Earl)
  7. Autograph, “My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend Isn’t Me”
    Don’t remember any lyrics, I just like the title of this forgettable song from a forgettable band from the mid-80’s.
  8. Matchbox 20, “Long Day”
    I’m sorry ’bout the attitude I need to give when I’m with you
    But no one else would take this shit from me
  9. Dire Straits, “Industrial Disease”
    Two men say they’re Jesus
    One of them must be wrong
  10. Cake, “Short Skirt/Long Jacket”
    The whole song makes me laugh. It starts off with a guy singing about what kind of girl he wants. He wants “a girl with a mind like a diamond“, “is fast and thorough and sharp as a tack“, “with a voice that is dark like tinted glass“, that kind of thing. Of course, he also wants a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket. Then it gets a little weird. Now he wants a girl “with uninterrupted prosperity, who uses a machete to cut through red tape” and someone who’s “touring the facility and picking up slack“. And who wouldn’t want a girl with “a smooth liquidation” and “good dividends“? Finally he gets really specific:
    At Citibank we will meet accidentally [“Meet accidentally!” yell the backup singers]
    We’ll start to talk when she borrows my pen…
    She’s changing her name from Kitty to Karen
    She’s trading her MG for a white Chrysler LeBaron
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