The Contac C jerk


There was a commercial that really bugged me when I was a kid in the early 80’s. It’s on YouTube, but here’s what happens. Note that I did this entire transcript from memory before finding the video online. I got maybe two lines wrong. That’s how much TV I watched as a kid.


Scene: a bus stop. A man is sitting on the bench, reading a newspaper. A second man (this guy, one of the cops from Terminator 2) sits down next to him. The second man has a red nose and a handful of tissues. He sneezes into the tissues.

Man 2: Oh, this cold.
Man 1: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Man 2: No you don’t, you don’t have a cold. [Which is a dumb thing to say anyway. It’s very unlikely that the other guy has never had a cold. Even if he doesn’t right now, he knows how it feels.]
Man 1: Oh, yes I do.
Man 2: You’re not sneezing or sniffling.
Man 1: I was yesterday, but I took Contac C.

Bus arrives. Cut to close-ups of the Contac C box. the pills, etc. Narrator talks about how great Contac C is at reducing your cold symptoms.

Cut to the same bench. Man2 from the previous scene is sitting on the bench, reading a newspaper and looking refreshed. A different man is next to him, and he is sneezing into tissues.

Man 3: Oh, this cold.
Man 2: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Man 3: No you don’t.
Man 2: Oh, yes I do.

Man 2 smiles, then goes back to reading his newspaper.


I remember asking: why didn’t the second guy tell the third guy about Contac C? Some stranger told him just the previous day, and now he’s feeling better. Then he sees someone else suffering the same way but does he pay it forward? No, he thinks “screw you, buddy, I’m not giving you the secret. I’ll just sit here and smirk.” Asshole.

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